As we have previously learned, Cocaine Bear is not just a movie or a story, he is a way of life. The bear has touched millions, if not billions, of lives with his harrowing tale of ingesting too much of the substance. So when it was announced that they would be turning Mr. C. Bear into a movie, it was a scary thought. Would they treat Cocaine Bear and his story with dignity and respect? Would this delicate tale be told to the right viewers, in the right framing? Now that the first trailer has been revealed, the answer is clear: Cocaine Bear will be getting his Oscar, and possibly the Nobel Peace Price for his work.
Cocaine Bear will hit theaters in February, starring Keri Russell, Matthew Rhys (in a mini Americans reunion), O’Shea Jackson Jr., Alden Ehrenreich, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, and Ray Liotta. The real story featured a bear who consumed over 70 pounds of stolen cocaine that fell from the plane before his unfortunate death. The movie seems to err on the side of silly, as the bear almost immediately kills people instead of just dying. But that’s where the fun comes in! Here is the official synopsis:
Inspired by the 1985 true story of a drug runner’s plane crash, missing cocaine, and the black bear that ate it, this wild dark comedy finds an oddball group of cops, criminals, tourists and teens converging in a Georgia forest where a 500- pound apex predator has ingested a staggering amount of cocaine and gone on a coke-fueled rampage for more blow… and blood.
Obviously, the people were delighted (and scared, but mostly excited) about the prospect of Cocaine Bear’s triumphant big-screen debut. We haven’t seen this much bear-human solidarity since Paddington 2 hit theaters.
please don't talk to me or my boyfriend, alden ehrenreich in the cocaine bear trailer, in that tone of voice pic.twitter.com/a1Fy2Mw81D
— kelsey farrell (@kelsfar) November 30, 2022
if the bear in cocaine bear could talk: pic.twitter.com/6m39XJ9q1i
— ً (@HailEternal) November 30, 2022
dont like that that movie paints cocaine bear as a villain. cocaine bear is a victim. bears aint supposed to have cocaine they're supposed to have salmon
— Otis P. Stinktrigger (@HurtKull) November 30, 2022
The race for the Oscars begins and ends here. https://t.co/oC0LC8kcfm
— Glen Macnow (@RealGlenMacnow) November 30, 2022
Revenant bear walked so Cocaine Bear could snort and run. I can't fucking wait for this! https://t.co/b5lgVDfr5X
— Rendy (@rendy_jones) November 30, 2022
No way this is gonna be Ray Liotta’s last movie lmfao https://t.co/CQYce0WLsU
— semaJ (@semaJ7272) November 30, 2022
“And the Oscar goes to … Cocaine Bear.” pic.twitter.com/G4vDyNCEqT
— Mike Ryan (@mikeryan) November 30, 2022
the fact that the cocaine bear movie is also a triple reunion for The Americans pic.twitter.com/52lcPzbqM6
— Sam Adams (@SamuelAAdams) November 30, 2022
Studios: we need legacy sequels and returning franchises
Universal: yes but also dancing murder dolls and cocaine bears and whatever Jordan Peele wants to do
— Brian Lynch (@BrianLynch) November 30, 2022
COCAINE BEAR instantly enters the pantheon of literal movie titles, alongside HOT TUB TIME MACHINE, SNAKES ON A PLANE, SHARKNADO and, of course, WERNER HERZOG EATS HIS SHOE
— Isaac Feldberg (@isaacfeldberg) November 30, 2022
cocaine bear was fired from the care bears because his only power is explaining game of thrones at 4am
— Jill Krajewski (@JillKrajewski) November 28, 2022
Cocaine Bear will hit theaters on February 23rd. The Oscars are March 12th so there is a ton of time.